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Hey there Beauties!

I’ve decided to do something a little different in this week’s blog post.  I wanted to give you a more juicer AND personal post…just think of it as a “getting to know you” kind of deal.  Also, I thought it would be kind of neat to share my story in a fun way and provide value at the same time!  Oh, and I did interject a fashion-friendly picture for you…can’t forget you all are my fashion friends!  First, do me a favor, if you have not linked up with me on Periscope, then you can do so right from the blog by clicking on the Periscope icon to the right of your screen for desktop users or toward the bottom for mobile users.  Secondly, I just want to reiterate that this post will be followed up with vids that are exclusively delivered via email to the Battle Beauties VIP Community!  The sign-up also is to the right for desktop viewers and toward the bottom for mobile users.  Are you ready?!

I am a firm believer that any hardship we encounter in life is an opportunity to learn something new and to glean wisdom from the overall experience.  Perspective matters!  It dawned on me this morning, after prayer and devotion, that it would be neat to share and dissect this topic on “How NOT to Be a Wife.”™  Yesterday, after reading an article about Macy’s aiming for $60 billion wedding industry, published in Fortune, I came to the stark realization that if the wedding business is consistently rising, then surely there is an audience that will find this message appealing.

Since I will be rolling out a video series on this topic, I figured I’d share a few inside details with you.  If you are familiar with my Beautyforashes314 signature block, there are three words that I will be highlighting throughout this series.  Love. Confidence. Humility. These are all heart postures/virtues that help facilitate healthy relationships.  In the featured picture that I chose for this post, you should see the book entitled, How to Be a Good Wife.  Well, that’s great, but what does good really imply?  It’s all relative, right?  In my experience, I have come to the conclusion that being a “good” wife isn’t good enough.  The principles that I am about to share with you will not only prepare you to be a wife, but after reading this post, you will model the virtues of a Godly Wife.  That’s the key!  Here are two HOT keys as it relates to “How NOT to Be a Wife”™:

Confronting Your Husband Publicly:  Not unless you want it to backfire PUBLICALLY!  This is huge on the “don’t do” list as it creates a breeding ground for more hostility, tension, confusion, and HUMILIATION.  The Bible indicates that a “soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  It is imperative that wives are cloaked in humility and resist the urge to publicize or air dirty laundry…this applies to confronting your husband on social media, in the midst of children, friends, or family.  Besides, communication breakdowns never made the goal lists for your marriage…right?  You don’t want to be the reason that your spouse shuts down the lines of communication as this is not healthy.  Need a great Biblical example of a wife who understood the power of humility and how to properly approach her husband with an issue?  Try researching the story of Esther.  Personally, this is a lesson that I did not grasp quite as naturally or quickly as other wives.  Lol!  Years later, I discovered that pride played a role in the drama that I created as well.

Being the “Beast” instead of “Beauty”:  If you are kind to your supervisor or any individual other than your husband, then you, my friend, are playing the role of the “Beast”.  Perfect example, I remember I was going above and beyond at work and advancing, but there was no real work-life balance.  In other words, I was this great person at church and on the job, but I was a different person at home.  Even as a Christian woman?  Yep,  I was that “guy”.  It is really sad when you treat your supervisor or leadership better than you treat your own spouse.  This type of behavior is deeply connected to pride.  I was a leader, mentor, supervisor, and superstar at work, but was failing in how I related to my husband.  Being a “Beauty” or Godly wife, calls for a deeper understanding of honor and wisdom to execute this principle to build a culture of honor within the home.

Overall, the virtue of humility will enhance ANY relationship.  It is critical to acknowledge that there will always be room for improvement along the way, but never give up!  Godly marriages are to mirror that of the Kingdom it represents.  If you apply these principles, you will see the fruit that will be produced in your marriage and home life.  Please stay tuned for forthcoming details on “How NOT to Be a Wife”™ Part II.


4 Replies to “How NOT to Be a Wife ™”

  1. Amazing post! I think it is awesome that you can speak candidly on this issue as it seems very difficult to discuss at times because of so many different views in our world today on gender roles. I love the 3 virtues because of the balance it creates. Each virtue respects the other esp. when the human (emotions, pride) in us wants to leap out and react poorly to situations. [ Love – Confidence – Humility ] Sometimes love can make you too controlling and humility steps in. Humility alone can reveal insecurities until you through on your last piece of armor – Confidence. Confidence reminds you of who you are, which is a reflection of the most high. You can be humble and Confident at the same time because of love. Our father is full of all 3 but is forever confident. He is confident enough to always have our best interest with full belief that we can achieve.

    1. Indeed my friend! Thanks so much for commenting Brad. This subject is very difficult because many people are afraid to be authentically transparent and share their experiences…good, bad, or ugly. It is very important to me to never be so inundated with fashion that I miss the TRUE purpose of this platform which is to serve others…my love for fashion is just a vehicle to help me to serve. This is where the three virtues/heart postures come in. These virtues were instilled within me by “seemingly” traumatic situations. They allow me to have a distinct creative expression in my fashion designs as well as in how I relate to people. Thanks again and I look forward to seeing your designs make a mark in the fashion world!


    2. This is deep! I love transparency and identifying struggles we have as women but refuse on how to talk about the core issues and not fall victim to the trend

      1. Good point Sonya! For this post, I wanted to bring out some core issues that we sometimes “sweep under the rug”. It’s important address these topics no matter how controversial they are. Thanks so much for commenting!


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